Normal

 Just before we start, I would like to pause and offer some sage advice to everyone. Buckle up, this will change your life.

 Eat dates. 

I can't tell you the dramatic change in the colon jackpot. Do yourself a big favour and eat 2 or 3 dates every day and your bottom will thank you.

You are welcome.

Before I go into the secondary school journey I would like to take this opportunity to talk about what is normal and why we should stop seeing differences in our fellow humans.

I do consider myself normal. Normal as a cup of tea! (From China). As normal as eating a bramley apple. (Apples came from Kazakhstan originally.) I would imagine my normal is completely abnormal to your definition of normal I would put money on it. What defines normal? It's a human construct. 

It's made up.

It can be defined where civilisation is in a point of time. I think we can all agree for the most part of our 300,000 year human history we were digging around for grubs to eat and trying not to get eaten by a sabre tooth tiger or our relatives. Shitting in bushes and wiping our backsides with moles. A pretty normal existence then. You would get second looks in the park even in Orpington today. 

When the bastard Romans ( you remember the Romans. Ruthless barbarians with an engineering degree?) invaded we Celts were lucky if they didn't increase our bum hole size using their Gladius swords( Yes I looked that up) on our naked blue painted bodies. You'd pop down the shop to get your oat milk and a bloody Roman jumps out from Café Nero and spills your beans all over the zebra crossing with a pike up your nether's. That was their normal, it wouldn't even make the local papyrus back then. A bit like how getting a university degree is now days.

Location is also a determining factor on what is normal. If I was to be plucked out of merry England and placed in a jungle, my so called normal behaviours and routines would have to change pretty smartish if I were to survive. Gone the Pot Noodle, hello toasting tarantulas on an open fire and boiling water through a carbon coated sock!

Normal changes, which means we need to be open to what is normal. Be prepared to find out that how we behave in the past wasn't actually acceptable.

Unfortunately, and it pains me to say this as a 60 year old man. We are living too long. What we are dealing with now is a bunch of farty old twats who want to rewind to the 70's. If they were decent human beings thinking of what's best for our society they should have died years ago. Any self respecting grand parent back in the day, would be lucky if they made it to 70! 

They 1970's grand parents didn't know what a Zumba class was back then and they were better off for it! They dropped dead taking their outmoded values with them to let the next generation shape their future. Now you get these 50 to 90 year olds having their bigoted opinions that it was all better back then. It fucking wasn't! Medical science has improved so much it affords them life to have that stupid opinion and shape a society they will not live through.

We have these walking trojan horses popping statins like candy whose traditional values have changed before their eyes. Society moves on and they don't like it, they don't like it one bit! They liked it when kids could play in building sites and drown in a muddy trench. Builds character! My dads best friend was killed on a building site, being caught between 2 lorries. A brutal death. I don't think he ever recovered from that. That terrible accident was preventable and would not happen today. 

Oh but now it's "Health and safety gone mad!"

The noise of this stupidity is to get us to vote ourselves less and less regulation so the rich corporations can pollute more, protect their workforce less and make more money by screwing the working classes into the ground.

 I knew 2 kids in my street that were mangled by preventable accidents. It was horrific. When I look back I thank Thor I survived.*

*Being an atheist I feel Thor is a God I can get behind.

If they like the "Good old days" so much, chuck away their modern medicine that have kept those veins open and see how long the fuckers last.

That's not healthy behaviour for an evolving civilisation to go backwards. Personally I don't want to normalise being a sexist, racist, bigoted asshole. That's just me.

To counter this we should have a minimum voting limit, we should have a maximum. Say 75.

As far as I can see. Anybody trying to rewind to olden times want the working class to get back in their box and learn that their superiors are in control, so please put my expensive riding boot back on your throat and don't look me in they eye you insolent piece of working class shit.

As I hope I am demonstrating with my little amble back to my memories of those heady time. Life then was pretty shit. Especially for the working class.