Friday, March 31, 2006

WOC # 14

Win a free Tee shirt from StiK's Tee Shirt Shop

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Thursday, March 30, 2006

Hollywood Nuns # 2

Just one of my new designs on my TEE SHIRT site. Look out for the competition to win a World of Cow tee shirt. One simple question answered and it could be yours.

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WOC 13

Don't forget the free Tee Shirt competition. TEE SHIRT COMPO LINK. Win a WOC shirt from StiK's Tee Shirt Shop.

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Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Hollywood Nuns.

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Thanks Yoda.

Good advice, wherever it comes from is welcome I find and I've got some interesting words of wisdom from films.
When I was growing up, people were up in arms about video nasties and how they were turning the younger generation into a bunch of violent, irresponsible hooligans. I think people conviently forgot the fact that we have had violence in our history pre-television and film. I have to admit, films have been a bad influence on me. THEM! turned me into a ant killing machine. I figured I better get them, before they mutate into 50 foot beasts and get me. I'm sure if sharks roamed around my council estate I would have been after them after watching Jaws...not with much success, as I was only armed with a magnifying glass and rubber band with a knot in it, but the intent would have been there non-the-less.
Anyhow I have 2 pieces of advice I have used throughout my life, gleaned from films that have seen me in good stead for the last 25 years of my life. Yoda says to Luke, that he is always looking to the future, to the horizon. Never concentrating on where he is...what he is doing. Which I thought was great advice. I used to have so many plans, be a bit of a dreamer, forgetting to knuckle down and get on with it.
The second piece of advice, well tip really is just as mind blowing. And it is this "Righty tighty...Lefty Loosie" from Fandango. Saved me hours of grunting and groaning, so it has.

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World of Cow no12

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Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Those Space Potatoes get talking again...

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I was going through my gags from last year, and this one is still current affairs... how depressing...

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Cow Charging Illusion...?

Inspired by Nice Illusions I thought I'd see if my cows would play tricks with your mind if you stared at them long enough and come charging towards you.... They don't... You just become aware of loads of snouts, which is freaky, so a mild sucess... I guess.. :)

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WOC Spreadshirt Tee Shirt Competition.

Win this FABULOUS shirt from StiK's online shop , the competition is open to all people in the UK, Europe and USA.
All you need to do is answer this question:
In StiK's Fireman's Hobbies Blog, what was collected in a jar by the firemen?
Is it:
A: Toenails?
B: Bogies?
C: Dead Flies?
email you answer to with your name and address, with your size, s,m,l,xl,xxl. Competition ends 8th April and the winner will be announced then, 12pm GMT. THE COMPETITION IS NOW OVER! NEW COMPO 10th APRIL!

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Monday, March 27, 2006

World of Cow No 11.

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The Stand-about Society.

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World of Cow No: 9 and 10

I've put 2 up today because they kind of work better together.

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Sunday, March 26, 2006

Arguments for humanity.

I've had my fair share of arguments with people. Family being the worse kind. But thinking about the process I wonder if it serves some greater purpose and guess what?...I think it does.

If you get on with your folks you tend to stick around and you know, be nice to each other. Yiu-EK!

But when you have a real falling out, you get out of town. Move as far away as you feel it necessary. Forcing you to meet new people that aren't genetically similar to you. So when you do settle down and have children they don't get born with fish-heads or are ginger. The human race benefits.

The British invaded the rest of the world because we couldn't stand being so close to the French... The pilgrim fathers high tailed it out of England because they were hated by the church...Captain Kirk couldn't stand the sight of his smug and evil sister-in-law. If we didn't hate the people we are supposed to love we'd have no colonizers.... Well we would...Ok we'd have fewer colonizers and Star Trek wouldn't have existed. Well, it would have been called Kitchen Trek, or something....

So do humanity a favour, call your dad a twat and run for cover....

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World of Cow No:8

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Saturday, March 25, 2006

World of Cow No:7

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Friday, March 24, 2006

World of Cow No: 6

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

World of Cow No:5

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Wednesday, March 22, 2006


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Almost 10 Reasons why Snow White is a Bitch

1. She's lazy. She gets all the animals to do her work. Using squirrels to do the washing up, I mean... It's a wonder the dwarfs didn't get Weil's disease.
2. She steals all of the 7 dwarfs beds, and gives them one pillow to sleep on, what sort of house guest is that? God knows what she did to their toilet...
3. As soon as a better offer comes around the corner, she's off, even though she's never met this guy. Good job the dwarves didn't tell her about the diamond mine, she would have fleeced them out of that as well.
4. She's too damn white, anyone that white has to be a Nazi or a vampire..Or both. MJ anyone?
5. She thinks nothing of breaking and entering, then when she's discovered she takes the piss out of their names..
6. Anyone who doesn't chew their food properly and can't even eat an apple without choking and going into a coma has to be slightly evil... Don't ask me why... I'm still mad she made the dwarves fight over a pillow.
7. She uses her feminine charms to get what she wants, from everyone. And what she clearly wants, is money and a high position in society. She is so ruthless she feigns he own death to get the man of her dreams. Did he survive her?...No one will know.
8. She played Dopey for the sucker he was...Ultimately breaking his heart. He probably got Grumpy to shoot him when she left.
9. She power dresses. She has shoulder pads that would put an American footballer to shame. Just like her evil clone... Maggie Thatcher...She was eerily white too....hmmmmm.

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World of Cow No:4

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Guy with Concussion Celeb Gossip News

Michael Jackson's pet tape worm has escaped from his lower colon and is said to be hiding in Britney Spears. Michael, former Mr Universe is now residing behind my fridge and refuses to come out. In an attempt to coax from his new haven I have left a trail of chicken nuggets on the floor, that leads to a bear trap. No sign of him yet however and bacon is missing from the salad drawer.

Extreme pigeon fancier Tiger Woods has moved out of his toadstool and painted himself with Ronseal wood preserver. Apparantly it does exactly what it says on the tin.Tiger is now extremely weather resistant for 5 years...GUARANTEED, but immobile. He is now living with a conifer and is making a living working for the Oxford dictionary inventing new words.

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World of Cow No:3

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Tuesday, March 21, 2006

World of Cow No:1 and 2

I've decided to add one WOC strip a day. This will make me liberate all those jokes I have stuck in my sketch book.

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Monday, March 20, 2006

Free StiK Wallpapers and Avatars

If you want lots of silly wallpapers or avatars for your computer, go to my site and take them. Including the dancing cows and nun in the margin. They are completely free(You can make a donation if you like). Go to:

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Jean and Len

I based these 2 on my parents and my experiences with them when I was a kid in the back of their car, listening to my mum telling my dad what road he'd just missed, and what direction we should be travelling in... His response was...I KNOW JEAN! There's more at:

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101 Uses for a Pair of Boll**ks

I did a book recently called 101 Uses for a Pair of Boll**ks. It was based on the premise that women are in control of us simple minded men, and have our danglies in their purses. Anyhow, here are a couple of my favourite toons from the book.

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Sunday, March 19, 2006


Here's a little piece from my book The Impractical Guide to Having Babies, I thought you might get some enjoyment out of.
Remember there is a competition to win this book below. I've had loads of entries. It ends April the 1st, so get them in.

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I've been thinking... like you do.... I was sitting on the toilet this morning musing about human beings pooing. It's just weird.
It takes us a lot of time. In the wild, animals just let rip, and walk on, no messin'. Where as we have to sit down, bits exposed, taking our time, squattin'.... if we did that in the wild, we would have had to have been highly vunerable. So there had to be an advantage in us taking so long.

So what was it?

Well I think I have an answer. When I go to the toilet, I either read or just think. Infact I probably wouldn't read much if it wasn't for my time spent on the loo.
I believe our ancestors worked things out during the downtime they had whilst sitting on their makeshift toilets.
Forget your 2001 style monolith teaching the monkeys how to bash each others skulls in, it was a tree they dangled their bum over, that forced our cavemen chums to think and ponder whilst they pooed, there by creating a race of thinking problem solving primates. Of course that wouldn't have looked so good on film, Kubrik could have probably pulled it off though.

Then again, I'm probably pooping out the wrong tree.... I can't quite see the Discovery Channel airing my theories..... The Evolution of Mankind, sponsored by Toilet Duck... Ho-Hum...

Also, different subject, but still on the caveman theme. Cave paintings, you never see any bad ones do you? No practice caves where they got it all wrong. They didn't have a kind of grey typex to paint out the errors, so I reckon they must have painted on animal skin, before being allowed access to the cave wall. Which must have been a high honour indeed. Not like blogging today. :)

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Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Caption Competition

I did a book recently, based upon my experiences with the whole process of having a baby. I have three children, so the material came thick and fast. Most of it smelt nasty.

I thought it would be fun to have a caption competition using the artwork from the book. The prize being a signed copy of the book. Deadline for entries 1st April.

If you could email me your caption to I will notify you if you have won, then if you send me your details, I'll get it in the post to you.

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Ong Bak Mountain

The devil makes work for idle hands that have Photoshop and an ear for a silly pun....

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Monday, March 13, 2006


Gosh, aren't people weird? I was asked to do a caricature of someone. So I told them the cost etc, which was fine. Anyhow I did it, she liked it. So I said I'd give her a nice glossy print of it. That's when things turned a bit chilly. She asked if she could have a "real" copy.

I said that I had drawn it in a computer... She went nuts. Apparently she works all day with computers, and "hates" them.

A bit strong I thought, I wasn't asking her to date a computer. So I politely told her that the Telegraph, The Big Breakfast...etc didn't seem to mind, and that my medium was just as valid as pen and ink. I think she thought the computer drew my work...

Then the other day, I asked my 50 year old brother, why he didn't have a computer... My goodness, you would have thought I'd have asked him to sleep with a corpse. He actually turned his back on me and trembled with rage. I thought his spine might explode from inner termoil... I think I'll send him some Tesco computer vouchers, stand back and see what happens. :o)

What's up with people? Ho-Hum.... I actually think I've tapped my keyboard so much that the DNA it's collected makes it more human than me.... Back to work I guess.

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Sunday, March 12, 2006

Urinal Niggle

I was at a Tapas Bar having something to eat with friends. I think Tapas is Spanish for slow service, or small and expensive portions, but no matter.

Anyhow, I went to the gents for a wee, like you do, and the toilets were empty, leaving me the choice of three urinals to choose from. I chose the middle, I don't know why? I live on the edge. So, there I am peeing a way, with two perfectly good urinals either side of me. I'm of average built, not like a man bear or anything. So a chap walks in, bypasses me and the two urinals next to me and goes into the lavy, closes the door and pees in there.

What's that all about? Do some men have phobias about peeing next to other men. I chatted to my mates outside and they said that sometimes they had problems peeing next to some one who kinda out ranked them, if you get me. One chap, said he likes to check out the opposition, I told him I'm a front and centre kind of chap, looking straight ahead, looking at the peeling paint on the walls infront of me.

I don't think I smell.... That could be it.... But what is it? I'm baffled. I mean to say, if someone does that to me, I think, must have a small willy. The guys on a loser even if he hasn't.

At the end of the day, I think it's poor toilet etiquette

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Friday, March 10, 2006

My New Card designs for Paperhouse

Here's a sneek peek at my new cards designs coming out soon. I'm very pleased with the results. The design team at Paperhouse really brought my cartoons to life. I wrote 10 out of the 15 designs, so they feel like they are my little babies.

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Thursday, March 09, 2006

My Latest Captain Pointy Strip

Here's my latest Captain Pointy Strip. It comes out in a free magazine called REET. It's very good. Check it out, it's at:,com_frontpage/Itemid,1/

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Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Fireman Hobbies

I was talking to a pal of mine who's a fireman, and we got talking about Jay Leno and a item he had on his programme about eBay. It was showing what ridiculous things had sold on eBay, one being the last Brussel sprout at Christmas.

I said I might try and sell some bogies. Then he said that at his firestation they had a jar where the firemen collected bogies. When it was full they'd sprinkle it in newbie firemens helmets. Other things happened with these bogies which involved food and seasoning...

But I think I planted a bit of a seed there, look out for a jar of fireman bogies on eBay, hopefully it'll save new recruits having weird tasting spaghetti and sticky helmets.

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Tuesday, March 07, 2006

The Interview

I recently had a student called Sam Hollman email me some questions for her studies, these are the Q and A's

Again thank you for agreeing to this. my first question is more my > curiosity> where did the name Stik come from and do you preference Bill or Stik?

Stik was born from an experience I had at an animation studio in London. I was 21 and there was this director of the company who was a bit of a bully and mis-used his position. Anyhow I got so sick of it I took 2 weeks off, contacted loads of magazine art editors and showed off my portfolio. I got 2 commissions from it. I signed myself Stik, because the reason I got those commissions was because I was getting stick from this 'orrible little man. :-)My friends and clients call me Bill. Some people like to call me Stik. Which is fine.

I believe you studied graphic design for a year and then went on to a > four> year course in animation. What triggered the change of direction?

I went for an interview for a job as a runner in an animation studio. Didn't get it, so went to colledge. A year later I was offered the same job. I took it. Graphic design wasn't for me really, although I did learn some valuble techniques.

Then from animation you moved towards illustration was this a natural progression?

There was a woman who was a part time illustrator at this animation company I was working for. I liked the idea of being able to do your own thing, and I thought I was just as good as her. So it felt pretty natural. Animation is great, but you have to draw someone elses style all the time. That's stood me in good stead. I've been asked if I can do someone elses style when they can't do a job.

You have worked in many different areas what would you describe yourself as, illustrator, animator, or cartoonist?

All of those things...and writer ;-) . I like to think of myself as a cartoonist who illustrates and animates....kinda...

I know for the online BatPotato you scan sketches in and add colour in photoshop, do you work like this on all your work?

Yep. Pencils, scan in and ink up in Photoshop (mainly) or Illustrator.

You said you learnt some valuable techniques from the graphic design course, what were these, and how have they helped you?

Crikey, just laying flat colour and thinking more of colour psychology, how packaging works that sort of thing. Such a long time ago.

Who would you say have had major influences on your style?

Wallace wood, Tex Avery, Picasso(Strangly, but he did some great cartoon work), Empire Strikes Back was a huge influence when I was a child, the lighting is amazing. Frank Hampton, Schultz, Gary Larson, Bill Elder, Chuck Jones... There's more but I'd be here all day.

On one site it said one of your hobbies were writing children’s books, how did you get in to this and was it difficult?

Ah, well I've written some, but I haven't had any published. I've had 3 adult books published. The Impractical Guide to Having Babies was a good one. I just wrote them and sent them to publishers...I got lucky with those ones. I'm currently developing some of my childrens books into a tv prog. It might work. Fingers crossed.

The Impractical Guide to Having Babies is incredibly funny and hit’s thenail on the head with things like feeding faces (which I am definitely guiltyof) and winter clothing is definitely some of the least practical design ever.
Do you come up with ideas like these from your own experiences?

Yep. Got 3 kids.Your work is really humorous has this always come easily to you?
I've always had a stupid sense of humour. I've got books and book of jokes.

I know you designed the Safeway Gang, have you done a lot of packaging work?

Not a huge amount. That was definately the biggest packaging job I've ever done. Just as I finished it Morrisons took over... D-OH!

How do you approach commissions, what kind of method do you use?

Sit down, sketch. Think about what they want. Try and do it as quickly and painlessly as possible, and know when to suggest stuff and know when to nod and shut up. Always try and do it before the deadline.

I hope the TV programme goes well! The Spider character looks really cool on thecreative match website.

Chairs. :o)

I haven’t asked a lot about your animation work mainly because I was not sure where to start, animation is something which I admire however not some thing I can personally do,
You said that you took a job as a runner, how did this lead you to the animation that you do today?

It just taught me all the basic principles of animation from pencils to painting on cel, backgrounds and shooting the thing. It's alot different today, we don't use paint and trace and cameras anymore.

Out of all the different mediums and techniques that you have done what has been your favourite?

I do enjoy animating a character. It somehow develops a life of it's own and becomes something separate from you.

And the one that you have least enjoyed and Why?

Difficult to say really. It's like trying to pick your least favourite child. I didn't like animating someone elses style if I hated it. Infact that's another reason I left animation. I was inbetweening some god awful style and we were playing the Singing Detective soundtrack. There was this particular song sung by Bing Crosby called, Don't Mess with Mr. Inbetween. And I thought, that's bloody right, why am I wasting my life doing this rubbish, when I could at least be doing my own rubbish.

Many thanks Sam, good luck with everything.

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Just seen Munich. It left me a bit confused I must say. It was a bit like Abbot and Costello do Counter Terrorism. These guys who were paid to take out the masterminds of the Munich atrocity messed up almost every hit, the plans were so slick, they slipped over on them.

Also, I was under the impression the main character was supposed to feel guilty for what he did. I personally did not see that. He was basically fearful that the same techniques would be used on him. Which is fair enough I guess. When you blow someone up with a phone, it's going to make you look at telephones in a slightly different way for the rest of your life.

I guess one of his number did realised he was defiling his soul by his actions. They all were. It was a grotty mess, and still is...

Another thing...I was also wondering why we had a sex scene intercut with the slaughter at Munich. Seemed a bit clumsy and made me think of Altered States... Good film that, Altered States that is..., not this one though. However it is worth seeing, but it should be called: When Good Counter Terrorist Plans, GO BAD!

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Monday, March 06, 2006

Man's Best Friend

A few years ago I wrote an illustrated a book. It was a satire on the equality of the sexes.

Anyhow, I used this character that was basically a little scotum, which I named Nobby. I have recently become aware of Testicular cancer, and how easy it is to prevent by self inspection.

I wanted to make a simple film to relay this very important message. Take a look, I think it's important for all young and old men to see.

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Hello All

Hi All,

Welcome to my Blog. I'm a professional cartoonist and writer, my books include The Impractical Guide to having Babies and 101 Uses for a Pair of B*****ks, which is a little bit rude, but very funny.

I've just finished doing a range of cards for Paperhouse called Wild at Heart, which I wrote the majority of and I'm currently writing a book about middle age.

This is my first Blog, and being a confused 40 year old I'm not sure I'm doing correctly, so please bear with me. If you want to see some of my work, I have a website at

Let me know what you think. I'd be happy to answer any questions you have for me.

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