Sunday, March 19, 2006

YABBA DABBA DOOOO DOOOO!

I've been thinking... like you do.... I was sitting on the toilet this morning musing about human beings pooing. It's just weird.
It takes us a lot of time. In the wild, animals just let rip, and walk on, no messin'. Where as we have to sit down, bits exposed, taking our time, squattin'.... if we did that in the wild, we would have had to have been highly vunerable. So there had to be an advantage in us taking so long.

So what was it?

Well I think I have an answer. When I go to the toilet, I either read or just think. Infact I probably wouldn't read much if it wasn't for my time spent on the loo.
I believe our ancestors worked things out during the downtime they had whilst sitting on their makeshift toilets.
Forget your 2001 style monolith teaching the monkeys how to bash each others skulls in, it was a tree they dangled their bum over, that forced our cavemen chums to think and ponder whilst they pooed, there by creating a race of thinking problem solving primates. Of course that wouldn't have looked so good on film, Kubrik could have probably pulled it off though.

Then again, I'm probably pooping out the wrong tree.... I can't quite see the Discovery Channel airing my theories..... The Evolution of Mankind, sponsored by Toilet Duck... Ho-Hum...

Also, different subject, but still on the caveman theme. Cave paintings, you never see any bad ones do you? No practice caves where they got it all wrong. They didn't have a kind of grey typex to paint out the errors, so I reckon they must have painted on animal skin, before being allowed access to the cave wall. Which must have been a high honour indeed. Not like blogging today. :)

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