Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Almost 10 Reasons why Snow White is a Bitch

1. She's lazy. She gets all the animals to do her work. Using squirrels to do the washing up, I mean... It's a wonder the dwarfs didn't get Weil's disease.
2. She steals all of the 7 dwarfs beds, and gives them one pillow to sleep on, what sort of house guest is that? God knows what she did to their toilet...
3. As soon as a better offer comes around the corner, she's off, even though she's never met this guy. Good job the dwarves didn't tell her about the diamond mine, she would have fleeced them out of that as well.
4. She's too damn white, anyone that white has to be a Nazi or a vampire..Or both. MJ anyone?
5. She thinks nothing of breaking and entering, then when she's discovered she takes the piss out of their names..
6. Anyone who doesn't chew their food properly and can't even eat an apple without choking and going into a coma has to be slightly evil... Don't ask me why... I'm still mad she made the dwarves fight over a pillow.
7. She uses her feminine charms to get what she wants, from everyone. And what she clearly wants, is money and a high position in society. She is so ruthless she feigns he own death to get the man of her dreams. Did he survive her?...No one will know.
8. She played Dopey for the sucker he was...Ultimately breaking his heart. He probably got Grumpy to shoot him when she left.
9. She power dresses. She has shoulder pads that would put an American footballer to shame. Just like her evil clone... Maggie Thatcher...She was eerily white too....hmmmmm.

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