Michael Jackson's pet tape worm has escaped from his lower colon and is said to be hiding in Britney Spears. Michael, former Mr Universe is now residing behind my fridge and refuses to come out. In an attempt to coax from his new haven I have left a trail of chicken nuggets on the floor, that leads to a bear trap. No sign of him yet however and bacon is missing from the salad drawer.
Extreme pigeon fancier Tiger Woods has moved out of his toadstool and painted himself with Ronseal wood preserver. Apparantly it does exactly what it says on the tin.Tiger is now extremely weather resistant for 5 years...GUARANTEED, but immobile. He is now living with a conifer and is making a living working for the Oxford dictionary inventing new words.
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